ELDER PORPHYRIOS
Testimonies and Experiences
The Farewell Letter of Elder Porphyrios
While at the Holy Skete of Kavsokalyvia on Mt. Athos, the Elder Porphyrios had given orders for his grave to be dug.
Through a spiritual child of his, he dictated a
farewell letter of advice and forgiveness to all his spiritual children.
Here is the letter as it was sent to us from the Holy Convent of the
Transfiguration of the Savior.
It is dated June 17, 1991. It was found amongst the monk's garments that were laid out for his burial on the day of his departure.
It again indicates his profound humbleness.
My dear spiritual Children,
Now that I am still in charge of my faculties, I want to give you some
advice.
Ever since I was a child, I was always in sin. When my mother sent me to
watch the animals on the mountain, (my father
had gone to America to work on the Panama Canal for us his children, because we were poor), there, where I shepherded
the animals, I slowly read, word by word, the life of St. John the Hut-dweller and I loved St. John very much.
I said a lot of prayers, like the young child that I was, twelve or fifteen years old, I don't remember too well. I wanted
to follow his example. So, with a lot of difficulty, I secretly left my parents and came to Kavsokalyvia on the Holy Mountain.
I became obedient to two elders, the true
brothers, Panteleimon and loannikios.
They happened to be very devout and full of virtue, I loved them very
much and because of that, with their blessing,
I gave them absolute obedience. That helped me a lot. I also felt great love for God and got along very well.
However, because of my sins, God allowed me to become ill, and my elders told me to go to my parents in my village
of St. John, Evia. Although I had sinned a lot from when I was a small child, when I returned to the world I continued
to commit sins which, today are very many. The
world, however, thought highly of me, and everyone shouts that I'm a
saint.
I however, feel that I am the most sinful person in the world. Of
course, whatever I remembered I confessed, and I know God
has forgiven me. But now I have the feeling that my spiritual sins are very many and I ask all those who have known me
to pray for me, because, for as long as I lived, I humbly prayed for you, too. Now that I'm leaving for heaven, I have the
feeling that God will say to me, "What are you doing here?" I have only one thing to say to him, "I am not worthy of here, Lord,
but whatever your love wills, it'll do for me."
From then on, I don't know what will happen. I however, wish for God's
love to act
I always pray that my spiritual children will love God, Who is
everything, so that He will make us worthy to enter His earthly
uncreated Church. We must begin from here. I always made the effort to pray, to read the hymns of the Church, the Holy Scriptures
and the Lives of the Saints. May you do the
same. I tried, by the grace of God, to approach God and may you also do
the same.
I beg all of you to forgive me for whatever I did to upset you.
Hieromonk Porphyrios
Kavsokalyvia, June 4/17 1991
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Last Update: 7-1-2009.